You give and take away,

you give and take away,

my heart will choose to say

Lord blessed be your name.

Today i finally understood what it meant to give God my all. He showed me how he would strip me of my securities and my comforts, so that all i have to offer him is that broken and contrite heart, holding on to my tiny dreams in my hands which are uplifted to Him. And from there, He'll take it and mould it into something great.

It's just so hard to let go of so many things. But these are the things like what Sheila shared with me, that God sieves out via shaking. It's definitely painful. Super painful. But worth it.

God asked me a question just now. He asked me which was more worth it: the stuff that i kept holding on to, or the dreams he gave me. And i honestly took a while to contemplate. Because both were appealing. my eyes were opened. The only thing that was worth and satisfactory was to live a life that glorified God! Not a life of satisfying own needs, because God would do that when you seek Him first. And ya, images flashed across my mind. Images of how life would be if all these things i held on to were gone. It was a painful thing to think about. But when God showed me the things that He would do through me if i had let all these go, i felt that sense of comfort coming back. A sense of overwhelming, what can i say, joy.

When God said seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and that all these things would be added onto you, He didn't exclude emotions and feelings!

O Lord help me to stick by you. That nothing else is as worth it as you! No setback, no heartbreak, no earthly desires, no emotion, can change the fact that you are so worthy.