It's strange how when you look around, you realise that there are dozens of other similar people around you; christians. But everytime you wish and pray for someone else to get saved, it's just so hard. Why is that O Lord?
Have we not prayed enough? Are we not ernest enough? And it breaks my heart how certain things cannot grow just because of this barrier. What is that that we should do so that you will turn these hearts back to you O Lord?
Inferiority.
Lord Father, to me it always seems like Christians always turn out to be big shots in the world. But why am i not? If not big shots, then very popular amongst the people. Lord is there something that i've done wrong? It feels more like i've given up so many things to come to you, but i've been going the wrong direction everytime i do so. I know by removing all activities just to free time does not mean anything. But Lord, how was i to know til you said so the other day? Now it's like the point of no return.
Lord are you teaching me to be humble?
O Lord, help me then. Teach me how to just focus on you. Give me clean hands, and a pure heart. Help me not to seek other things. Help me to be in that generation that seeks your face, O Lord of Jacob. Teach me how to do your works with the correct motive, with You as my only motive.
And then, it felt like there was no one.
Lord, remember how i spent my bored days at home. At that point of time i felt as if i had no one left. Or more of as though i knew not many people, or to make it more precise, i had few close friends. I spent my days rotting away at home, complaining to myself, to everyone, that i was so bored. And Lord, yet i could forget to spend enough time with you. Lord i'm so sorry. Remind me time to time about how the Israelites complained and never were allowed into the promised land. Lord Father, i know you have your plans and purposes, and you'll walk by my side whether it feels as though i'm alone or not.
Regardless of the above statements,
Lord help me to make you Lord of all.
It's a letting go and yet pulling back situation due to fear of unforeseen circumstances, or probably for the fear of foxes there to steal, nibble off those fruits that you have been waiting for.
It's a paranoic situation (though reasons may be unjust).
Have we not prayed enough? Are we not ernest enough? And it breaks my heart how certain things cannot grow just because of this barrier. What is that that we should do so that you will turn these hearts back to you O Lord?
Inferiority.
Lord Father, to me it always seems like Christians always turn out to be big shots in the world. But why am i not? If not big shots, then very popular amongst the people. Lord is there something that i've done wrong? It feels more like i've given up so many things to come to you, but i've been going the wrong direction everytime i do so. I know by removing all activities just to free time does not mean anything. But Lord, how was i to know til you said so the other day? Now it's like the point of no return.
Lord are you teaching me to be humble?
O Lord, help me then. Teach me how to just focus on you. Give me clean hands, and a pure heart. Help me not to seek other things. Help me to be in that generation that seeks your face, O Lord of Jacob. Teach me how to do your works with the correct motive, with You as my only motive.
And then, it felt like there was no one.
Lord, remember how i spent my bored days at home. At that point of time i felt as if i had no one left. Or more of as though i knew not many people, or to make it more precise, i had few close friends. I spent my days rotting away at home, complaining to myself, to everyone, that i was so bored. And Lord, yet i could forget to spend enough time with you. Lord i'm so sorry. Remind me time to time about how the Israelites complained and never were allowed into the promised land. Lord Father, i know you have your plans and purposes, and you'll walk by my side whether it feels as though i'm alone or not.
Regardless of the above statements,
Lord help me to make you Lord of all.
It's a letting go and yet pulling back situation due to fear of unforeseen circumstances, or probably for the fear of foxes there to steal, nibble off those fruits that you have been waiting for.
It's a paranoic situation (though reasons may be unjust).
posted by dawnie @ 9:19 AM
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