i was thinking...


Would it be better to extend my covenant til 20 years old?
committing the rest of my 2 years 2 months and a couple of days back to God.
Before i turn old and hairy and not being able to serve my 100%.

i remembered the time when Roland preached, he said that NOW is the time for us to really give our fullest potential in serving. The time when we are not working, just studying, surrounded with friends, having all the freedom we have being single.

but then again, there's always the 'what if'.


What if i regret.
What if i feel all lonesome suddenly.
What if i didn't need to make that covenant.
What if everyone else was already attached and i can't.
What if i really liked someone before the covenant ends?


And then, it struck me.

That i would only regret if i'm not all sold out for serving.
That i wouldn't feel lonely if i were close to God.
That God would tell me if i were to make a covenant or not.
That God makes All things beautiful in its time.
That he wouldn't be the one if the covenant hasn't ended.


Well. It indeed makes me feel more at ease, but....

I'm afraid i can't commit.
But i'd better be. God deserves more than whatever i'm giving Him now.

I don't want to hurt anyone. Neither do i want to be hurt by anyone.
But God tells me, that He will give me someone in due time.


And now, i just feel like being single. Live a single life, full of freedom to serve God with ALL my heart, soul and mind. Not forgetting being able to spend time with all my friends, hang out, have a fun evangelistic life with no bondage. Also being able to flirt around (okay i was just kidding, Megan will kill me.).


Hmm. See so both sides seem tempting, and beneficial. But i see God standing on only one path. And i choose that path of serving Him all my best.

Yet, i still ponder about the covenant status. What am i to do O Lord? Speak to me...