After all that serious studying, and being consistent in my homework, and even all the stress, i realised that it doesnt help me to score. Instead, all i have been getting are careless mistakes, blocked minds, and more and more stress.

Then i ask myself why is this happening. I thought that by praying and lifting up my work and studies to God would do the trick. But then it struck me, that all i had been doing was just using God as an excuse, a cover-up. I hadn't fully 'lifted' up my homework to Him, neither have i been fully surrendering my studies to him.

During service today when Pastor Eduador shared, it reminded me of how i should really put God first. That includes doing my quiet time first even though i may be very tired and still have to complete loads of work. He shared about Moses and how God called him up to the mountain top, to stay there and to listen out for His voice. And even though it took 6 days for God to respond to Moses, Moses still waited faithfully. Moses not only waited for God to speak, he also waited for God to finish whatever He wanted to say, and then only did God give Moses what he needed, the tablet.

It was only then when i felt embarrassed of myself, and how i boasted of my spirituality. It wasn't anywhere good, especially in terms of having a close walk with Jesus. It contradicted my desires of wanting to be close to Jesus and yes, now it slams me right in the face that i need to do more.

Thank you Lord for answering my prayers. Now i know that being close to you not only requires a talk, but an action. An action of seriously putting you first, and trusting the rest to you. Just like in Matther 6:33, "But seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added onto you as well", i pray that you help me to put that into action.

Thank you Lord for your kindness and grace. Teach me your ways so that you may be pleased with me. I LOVE YOU JESUS!!! :D


In Jesus' name i pray
Amen.