wonderfulworldofwawnie

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Sometimes, i feel as though i were in wonderland.
Happily prancing around, with no worries or whatnots.
and with a little finger snap,



i get transported into a graveyard.
Is this reality?



Who are you.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Okay peeps, i know you all think i 'm in this 'emo' state, but no i'm not. Blogging is just a good way of venting one's inner side. So don't take it to heart, just remember that i love talking to myself.

Today was mad. Seriously. I sneaked into Temasek Poly, and it was too bizarre. My house had no electricity from 8am til 5pm, and i needed some place conducive to study, and so ya, i met Jarrold at TP first. Wanted to go home to change before i met him, but since he was already there, he followed me back home. Accompanied him to have his lunch, and he disappeared at 12. Met Ben Choo after that. It was Quite exciting though, to think that you are some fugitive walking around being unnoticed. I was wearing something too casual due to that fact that i thought that it would be better if i wore something comfortable to study, but it felt too awkward. Almost everyone in the poly was dressed up, so little miss dawn here probably looked like some weirdo small kid wondering around aimlessly. Oh well.

Ben managed to persuade me into sitting in for his journalism lecture, there i met Lisa. The lecturer was strangely ignorant about my existance, and i'm quite greatful for that. The lecture hall was probably just around the size of MJ's LT1, and it was half full. The people at the back were mostly talking (including me) and playing Need for Speed. It was then when i realised how strict Junior colleges were about their discipline during lectures, where i had to even scream at one of the lecturers to make my point that i did not talk during her lecture. Annoying.

Went off to Tampines Mall, played time crisis for awhile, and i sucked. Then headed to Starbucks to study. During that supposedly quiet study moments, Ben kept insisting that angst was pronounced as angsty. He finally admitted defeat when Aiken agreed with me and said that it was pronounced as angst.

At around 6, Jarrold came to join as at TM. Ben and Jarrold had their meals at that Te... (something) Q place. The one at the basement. I ate a few sticks of chicken, but i must admit that it was quite tasty. :D Played a few lame games that Ben suggested, like the multiples of something game.

Headed home soon after.

Biology and Math papers tommorrow. How exciting. (Note the sacarsm)

And yeah, once again, to whoever who's reading this, thanks for your concern about my previous posts. But no worries i'm always fine. :D It's just the moment of rash when i write everything down, (which means that when i happen to be online, and something happens, then i write how i feel right away).



You don't know who you can trust

Thursday, June 21, 2007

I've had enough of your nonsense.
I've given up, happy?!

If i were her,
I'd wouldnt be given the same treatment.

Maybe i'm just not good looking enough.

Stupid world-views.
Stupid superficiality.

I GIVE UP.

You've made a thousand lies,
and a thousand masks,

argh.

Just shut up.
Here are some drawings i found in my sketch book, a stress reliever i must say.

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(Jan drew this. I'm the one above the basketball hoop)


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(looked like bacon)

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(imitation of converse)

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Ahh, whatever the case is, i'm thinking whether i should make up another covenant with God, promising him that i would not like any guy til 18. It'll probably solve all my major problems, and there wouldn't be any distractions any more. What should i do?

Pray for me.

It sucks badly when you fall into booby traps and then wanting to fall in them again.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Now i finally see what was under that mask.

The distortion of reality,
the dire consequence of having too much thought, hope.

I was wrong.

Now what am i to do?



History creating a replica.
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Difference, cracks.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Thieves

Thieves, Thieves!
My treasures are being stolen.
When i let go, and stop hoping for their return,

and go ahead with new treasures,
Thieves, thieves!

i would cry again.

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maybe i should just give up

What say you?

Monday, June 18, 2007

Does curiosity always kill the cat?

Inside=A mixture of everything.

I hate holes, especially those which are in the skin and have larva in them.
Ack.

How, how how? What do i do?
The adrenaline causes stomach pains. It causes the heart to pump at a faster rate, and causes the pupils to dilate.

It's stupid. Stupid.
And yet, there's that excitement.

I'm weird.
sometimes i feel that i've wasted my time..

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Schizophrenia
Secrets, a gazillion of them.
Dangerous.



Check out the Requiem that Mozart made. It was written on his deathbed, and it still sang praises and glory to God. Amazing.


I'm afraid, very afraid.




Church camp, tomorrow. Haven't packed. ARGH.


I'm too afraid.




What to bring, what to wear.


Will there be signs?




Who am i rooming with, hmmm.


Oh shut up brain.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

How many have ever wondered how sensitive can boys get.
Really, not a question that's aiming at anyone particularly. But generally.

Those whom you pay slightly more attention to, always seem to display a lack of sensitivity.
And those whom you pay little attention to, always seem to display so much more chivalry.

Strange.

Sometimes, i also do wonder how much jealousy boys feel.
Girls feel an awful lot, due to their unstable emotions. As the saying goes, girls are often too emotional.

Whatever the case is, have you ever wondered how the other party felt?
Do they ever wonder how we feel too?
It's a girl's dream to have mind-reading skills, right?

And yeah, boys always change too much.
There's that distinct turn of behaviour, too distinct.

Argh. (maybe i use argh too much)


Or maybe girls are just overly sensitive.



~
Today:

Went Heart of God church for sermon from Pastor Joakim Lundqvist who is from Sweden. Emmanuel and Ben C tagged along. Ben sat beside this guy who smelt an awful lot like pespiration. His breath contributed to the stench as well. Ben, borrowed Mei Mei's deoderant and sprayed it to the guy, and apologised in an unapologetic way saying that it was all an accident. The deoderant, in whatever case, still could not overcome the body odour and bad breath.

At first i thought Ben was the one with the bad breath, as the stench came from his direction. Yeah, but i finally understood Ben's sufferings when i sat at his place during the second service. Felt like puking throughout the entire service.

Quote from Dad: We do not hate the poor guy, we hate the stench.

After service, went to macs for dinner, met Si hua's friend Jeryl, Jaryl, whatever, who was also Emmanuel's friend from student council. Yep, small world.

Headed to Grandlink Square to play pool with Emmanuel, Sean, and Ben. During the walk there, we happened to pass this idol thingum. Ben got scared when he was right at the back of us, and it just so happened that the rest of us got freaked out, and started running. Sean and Emmnuel ran ahead of Ben and i, and went to hide. Then they jumped out from behind the construction works, and gave both Ben and i a shock. It was just a normal thing for a girl like me to scream, but Ben, got so scared that he kept going: 'WA IDIOT'.

Pool was weird, especially when i was the worse amongst all. Sean was probably of the same standard, but he was much taller, so yeah, more advantage. Ben's pro. Emmanuel's very encouraging. And SEAN, i have nothing better to say. :p (he was blur)

When everyone left, and while Ben, Sean and i were waiting for my dad to come, Sean decided to go play the Para Para thingum. Okay, maybe it was more of like i forced him to, but he still willingly agreed. It was hilarious, especially when Sean made those extra dance moves. Argh, just ask him how he does it. He can really pass of as a little girl, a huge girl. With that hour glass shape, the cleavage, and the dance moves. :P Muahaha. OKAY, i was just kidding.

Ah, the day, was in some way refreshing. And yet, saddening, when you see the indifference certain people had on their faces. Oh well.

Sorry for the really lousy story-telling. I was rushing to finish my story.

Farewell.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Deuteronomy 1:29-36
29 Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. 30 The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, 31 and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

32 In spite of this, you did not trust in the LORD your God, 33 who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go.

34 When the LORD heard what you said, he was angry and solemnly swore: 35 "Not a man of this evil generation shall see the good land I swore to give your forefathers, 36 except Caleb son of Jephunneh. He will see it, and I will give him and his descendants the land he set his feet on, because he followed the LORD wholeheartedly."

So true, so true.

Sometimes, people tend to assume too much. And i admit that i'm one of them. When you assume, you get more sensitive, and the more sensitive you get, the more you assume. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's just another vicious cycle.

O Lord, help me to just focus on you. Give me the faith to trust in you.

Remind me of the covenant i have with you O Lord.

Bring me to Greater heights.


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

What has this world become into?

So much politics, annoyance, irritants.
Filled with people you don't know you can trust.

One is always blinded while within the mess.

Argh.

How sensitive can one get?
How sensitive can I get?

O Lord, help me.

Today's worship, although good in some aspects, but had bad technicalities and spiritualities. The feeling was not just right. Whatever. I'm just glad that God still spoke in times like that.

Politics.
Main drive of gossips?

Stupid.

O Lord just help me.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

It's funny how one can get misled by the very person one misleads.

~

Oh Lord, where are you.
My focus has been blurred,
my everything in a mess.

All seems well,
but stagnant.

Lord i need more of you.

~

I'd better stop my nonsense.
Stop looking for replacements,
only God can fill that part of you.

Stop it.

Crisis. Whatever.
It's time where i should buck up.
Where did all the 'i'm on a covenant' go?
Where did all the 'staying on fire for God' go?

Argh. Dawn. You're nothing.
Be broken.

~

When i'm weak,
You are strong.
You're my feet when i can't move on.