honk honk!

hoiiii!

Hmmm. I wanted to write a really cranky phrase, but seems like i forgot.
Ack.

Were there ever the moments where you wished so badly that you didn't do something instant?
Or were there ever those incidents where you regret for just saying a yes.
Waha. Those moments, are these that i have right now.

Oh well. My fingers are swelling again after that not as fruitful practice on Bel's guitar. Her guitar stings are like made of steel needles, slicing through my outer cornified layer of my skin each time i change chords. Ack. Waiting for the granular layer (is that what it's called?) to grow into the cornified layer again. Then it would be super thick! Yay! Hmm, maybe not so good a thing, i guess. Won't be able to have nice smooth hands, oh no!

Anyways, today arrived in church at around 5 to study for awhile. Joined Maddie and Coral in 02-01. Did some psychological test from Maddie, and it was hilarious! We've got to do this during Sunday CE!!

Char got a little frustrated over some stuffies during music prac. Lots of tension during prac, yeah. Quite sad though.

Music team: We've got to stick together. (In the tone that sounds similar to those found in CS/Swat/whatever shooting game)

And yes, at 8.30-9 plus, the YA's had prac, i joined in too. Going to play for them tmr, eek. Rather intimidating, everyone was just so good. And me? Ack, lousy. Felt disgusted with my playing once again, and just felt so stiff in everything. It wasn't me. Really. All throughout, the urge of just sitting down came right through me. Sigh. Will get over this soon. I love the YA team a lot, it's just that everyone else is so much better, and i really do feel a little inferior. I mean, i haven't been practising much, and neither have i been improving.

Sigh. Oh well. Char's alright now i guess. Love her so much la. Whee!

Kelvin's doing alright too, haha. Love all my cell members too. Especially Daryl who printed and even binded a whole lot of math papers together for me. Really appreciate it sooooo much. Love you all!

Yes, today is my, weird-ish (not in a good way, neither in a bad way) day. So as my weird self, i shan't rant about more stuffies. Too much ain't that good. Hee. Oh well, (eek, i've been using too many 'oh well's. Have to stop.) i love Jesus. Lalala!

Lalala! Lalala!
(oh shut up with the 'la's)

Eek. Split personality.

*Wawnie tilts her head and gapes, with drool dripping from the side of her mouth unknowingly.*

*Sounds people make while doing wushu*

Things that i feel like doing:

1) Strangle you
2) Whack you with a broom stick
3) Shave your head bald
4) Pluck off your leg hair until you cry
5) Scratch you with a comb replaced with needles
6) Gorge out your eyeballs
7) Kick you


Haha. Meet the sadistic side of wawnie.

Nah, i was just joking. Hee.
I do wonder though, who are those secret readers of blogs. I may be one of them, i think.. (again)

Oh well. Feeling rather lousy with what happened yesterday, no not at mr lim's birthday thingy, but some stuffies after i headed back to church. Shan't elaborate, sigh.

If only you knew, hmm, or maybe you already do.
If only i knew.

Finally ate the green apple my mom left in my bag for ages, ate it in this really nice aunty's taxi. I think she may be a christian, woot! From the way she spoke and all, the selfless way thing, and the friendliness etc.

*Wawnie jumps off her seat in shock when there was a loud booming sound from under her block*

It really made me think, whether what we are doing actually portrays ourselves to be Christ-like and all. It's not about the knowing, but about the image. Yes, as the theory goes, 'it's not about the outside but what's on the inside'. But, i really do believe that for this, its what's on the outside (the things that you do, the way you portray yourself) that brings out what's on the inside. See the link?? People don't care whether you claim to be a christian or not, they care more about the impressions that you leave them. Why? Because they know that the thing that really makes the difference is the way you behave, your attitude, your character etc. Even the way you speak makes a difference.

Come to think of it, using the word: 'wa lao' is also a way of cursing. You don't hear people like Pastor Mark, Aunty Aye Lan, Hosea etc saying it. Really, that makes the difference. I understand so much about how hard it is to refrain from certain words, especially when one has been using them for so long. But really, with God, nothing is impossible. See? I've stopped using the 'Oh my Gosh's. Ain't that a living testimony? Woot!

New mission: To refrain from using 'wa lao', 'wa liao', 'wa... (whatever you can think to put here)'

I believe so so much, that people WILL see the difference! Argh! I'm so excited! Waha.

Shall skip away to study Social Studies: Diplamacy and Deterrence. Ack.

*Wawnie tries to skip away, but trips over a twig. Hmm*

Argh. They are playing horrid high-pitched chinese songs. My fingers hurt, after that rather fruitful self-lesson on the guitar. Waha! I'm so proud of myself! I can play without having breaks in between any chords! Woot!

Next mission:
To be able to sing and play at the same time on the guitar.

Ouch, the fingers on my left hand are hurting.

Oh well. Shall run off now.

*Wawnie sleeps and drools over the computer table*

lalaal

Just found out that i wont be playing for YM this service. Haha. Comm didnt want to tire me out, so oh well.

Quite disappointed, but guess that God really has a purpose. Haha. I'll still gate crash the saturday YM music prac though. MUAHA.

Today: Went to celebrate teacher's birthday. Yay! Spent quite alot, but for a good cause. :D Quite fun though. Went with Hariyani, Xiu xuan, and Lisa. haha. Ate at breaks in Marina, the food was not bad. Then went to Jack's place for the oreo cheese cake thing. Haha. It had been a long time since we've met up with our teacher and stuff, so yes, today would be memorable.

Now: Sitting in Pastor's resource room with only 2 dollars left. Met Joel Ooi just now while walking in city link. Haha. Then tagged along for a really really short time, and then left on a bus 14. I seriously got to study. Haven't been studying a lot. Full force study!! Argh. Havent been there.

Mdm Rasheada msged me this morning at 5.40 am to tell me that there was history lesson. Argh. But only woke up at 8-9 plus, so yes, i missed the entire lesson i think. Ack. I need the notes!!

Shall run back down to youth room now and study. Haha!

Oh yes!

While on the bus yesterday heading towards simpang:

Jarrold/Shenna/Me: We're from PAP.
Ben Leung and Cell: We're from the FA-RT

Go fart club! :D

*Wawnie escapes from the evil,moist, bad-smelling, gas that originated from the fart club*

why

You've poked right through it this time.
Right through.

Insecurity.


Today: Went to meet Sarah, Ben L, Shenna, Jarrold and Char at suntec. Was really late also cause there were many smelly people in the crowded and squashed up mrt, and there was some person who stood really really close to me, and i hated it. So yes, i got off the mrt, and took the next one.

Walked around aimlessly with the rest, and settled down in starbucks. Met Ian Cheng there. Haha. That silly boy, he was suppose to cook for us. hee. Sat down for awhile and we decided to head back to Sarah's house. Quite silly i must say, but blame it on the very term: boredom.

Rented Big Momma 'thingy' (Forgot the show title) and the other DVD which showed a family having 18 kids. We borrowed the ... (Malay game which seems like an olden day version of pool) and the game mad magazine. Ordered in Macs, (fattening stuffs) and ate huge packets of chips.

I have to say this: BEN LEUNG FARTED.
And yes, it was super stinky. We all died. Or maybe just me. (I wonder why the air diffused only at my direction) The fart was a silent and yet deadly one, eek. Shan't elaborate.
(Now he'll say that i have stinky feet, which i do not. Well maybe on certain occasions when my shoes get all dirty and stuff. My shoes are clean now! No worries!! :D)

Had so much fun la!! I love you all! hee.

Haha, mom will probably nag all day long again telling me to study. Oh well.


1. Stupid memories.

Get lost.




2. Ignorance is a bliss.




3. Just a stupid reply would do you no harm.

You proud thing.



4. I hate you.

Sorry.

The Midnight study: Phase 2.

Woohoo! I made it! It's 3 now, and no one's online to talk to me. Sniff.
Eek, i mean, there's no one online to bug me when i'm studying. Hee. Just read through Chemistry stuffies, and the league of Nations.

I can't make my mind stop wondering away though, it's really hard. A whole lot of 'what if's keep escaping my mind to God. And the same words keep coming back: have faith. The gift of faith, sometimes may not seem such a big deal, but it is through this i see that really, faith is all we need.

Faith.

I pray, i pray. I've prayed! But... what if...

Ack. 4 years. World cup. Patience.


Hmm. Oh Lord, i'm going berserk. Help me. Remove the envious Wawnie, into a Wawnie full of faith and trust. Speak to him/her. Help him/her. Let him/her see his/her wrongs. O Lord, sometimes i wished so much to really be that person to stand side him/her to encourage him/her on, to help him/her spiritually despite of what people say. But i'm not sure if i can. Lord, i pray that you give me that opportunity, that special moment, to just make an impact.

I need you Lord.

*Wawnie begins phase 2 of her study session*

study

The midnight study: Phase 1.

Yes it's 1.30 am and you all may think that i 'm crazy. But no, i'm still sane, and i'm really going to study til 5 am.
(Main reason: Slept from 8pm to 1am, so cant sleep anymore)
I hate it so much when the mind wonders when one is unable to enter slumberland.

Char, Sarah and i had a talk with Jarrold just now, and yep, we're all rocking like never before again. Welcome Slick 5!! Ok, this may sound a little cliche and 'ah lian-ish', but here goes: Friends forever and ever! Yay!
We expect each other to play chess under the blocks when we're at around 80 years of age, hee, can't wait. Another 64 more years to go......

Save them...

What should i start first? History?

Argh, i can't stop my mind. I keep thinking. What if he/her has forgotten about me, especially when he/her is leaving soon for a long time. Sigh. And like what i've said yesterday, i can't do anything!! I can only watch, with pain. Sheesh. Why can't he/her just understand the hurt that i feel. Eek, i sound like some desperate person now. Sigh.

Wawnie is no desperate child, no desperate child.

i'm just afraid, that history would return, and make its mark again.
I'm really afraid.

God tells me to have faith in him, He's telling me not to doubt Him, after all the signs He has shown. He tells me to wait and pray fervently.


I'll pray.
That's the only thing i can do now for you.

*Wawnie begins her study session*

Joy?

The word of the season: joy.

Hmmm, rather contreversial to what's happening nowadays.
I'm stuck, and i don't know how to deal with the situation, all it seems like right now is that i'm still disappointed and stuff. But really, what else could i do for an insensitive person?

I pray that God will change you, til then, i'll just stand afar and watch. Yes, it hurts, MOST of the time, but i can't help much. The most that i could do was to just encourage you by letting you know that i would always be praying for you. But as anyone would know, an insensitive person wouldn't care less.

I give up, and yet i don't. (confused)
The voice says that it is time to wait.
Patience, long suffering. Time of long waiting.
Sounds familiar, and yet seems alien-ish.

I've always wished that i could be someone close by to help you along the way, but it seems that God does not permit, and yes, as the saying goes: 我直能修手旁观. (Whatever it's supposed to be)

I don't know what's going to happen, but really, i've never waited this long. It's sad to know everything that's going on through little gossips here and there, but never from the mouth of the owner.

Disappointed, yes. Very.
But i'll pray for you.
I have faith that God will bring you to a higher level.

My cries.

*Wawnie tears, so that the atmosphere would go with accordance.*

Snap out of it

Your detestable behaviour annoys people.
So just snap out of it.

Yep, and that was part of the irated Wawnie.
Disclaimer: She hates it when you complain too much. Not that she herself doesnt complain either, it's just that, you do it too often that her ears are falling off.

I'm freezing in the pastors resource room, and i feel like a 'criminal' who used the computer without permission. Hmm. Maybe cos' i m the only youth here right now. eek.

Oh well, yesterday, was fun, but the journey home was a little rough. Nope, nothing to do with my parents, but more of like a disappointment.

One word to describe him/her: Irresponsible.

And i love shanney a lot!! She's sooo cute. My new target: to harass Shanney and Nathaniel. Muahaha. And i'm no pedophile. Hee.

Went for metamorphosis yesterday, and as usual, people will continue to ask why i wasn't studying and all. Hey, exam-takers need breaks too ya? Short or long, it doesnt matter! Hee. But i still love it when i know that there are people out that showing concern for me. I rode Char around in an 'aunty' market bicycle. Quite fun, and hard to balance and stuff. Hee. But the whole East Coast thing was really memorable and stuff.

16:50

Oh yes!! Jun Wei's here! Now i don't feel so weird. No more 'criminal' Wawnie. Waha!

Sigh, i'll have to face irritants again. Sheesh!

Anyways, will run along now. And i'm not angry or anything, just typing out whateva that comes out from my mine, just like how i talk to myself. (Hmm..) Hee.

*Wawnie signs off with a big grin*

Fri, Sat, Sun

Friday

Met Aiken and Gaius on the bus 15 heading to parkway. Then, met up with Char and ben. Char wanted to look for some new clothes, waha. And i promised that i would accompany here to go shop. Didn't find anything, sadly.

Walked over to Roxy as aiken wanted to buy a CD from west grand boulevard, and i left my file there by accident! Sniff. I hope they found it though.

Left for church then, we had to reach there by 3 as pastor Mark had somethings to sort out with the musicians. So yep, we had discussions on what we had to do to improve and all. And we were motivated to set up the entire stage within 7 mins due to the incentives of pizza. Wahaha. We had plenty of fun although there was a little tension here and there. Great day, great time, and yeah, Great musicians!! :D

Saturday

Had music prac in the morn. Everyone came on time!! Woah, for once! Hee. Our entire practice session was recorded on tape as requested by Pastor Mark on Friday. Haha. Practice this time was fruitful and all, although we did waste a little time to figure out chords and change some stuffies.

Ran off for leaders at 2 pm.

Then there was prayer, service, yada yada..... so on and so forth.

Emmanuel left for dinner with Nicole, Vaness and Gracie cos' we were cell-less. Daryl and kelvin didnt come, and Jerald had to leave early. So oh well, haha. Went to eat at MAcs with Sarah and Char, and met Gaius and gang there.


Sunday

And yes, i was early once again for CE. Woohoo! Shenna didnt come again, lol. And Michelle came later then usual as she had problems with her stomach. Maddie took over, and it was really good too. Well done Maddie! Pastor Mark came into the youth room randomly, and Maddie was super stressed out. It was quite hilarious as Pastor Mark always came in when Maddie was teaching. Hee.

Had lunch with Shenna, Char and Sarah at black canyon. Thai food, hmm, change of taste once in a while. We discussed lots of stuffies and all, and yep, the time was really spent fruitfully.

Had to run back to church for some voicing out 'showdown' thing. Sarah was really stressed out, and yeah, maybe she was a little disappointed. The entire event was quite good, where people voiced out on how the leadership should change and all. It was quite upsetting when we heard the speech from Ben, Eileen and Janice, and Aunty Aye Lan was really heartbrokened. She wailed quite a bit, and it brought all of us to tears too. More of because she was our spiritual mother who had sacrificed a lot for us and all. It just so happened that i had lack to tissues to use and my nose was leaking non-stop, and i had to destroy my lovely wrapped-up used tissue. Ok, it kind of tickled me in the midst of everything, and so i giggled a little. Then, i started to blow my nose and it made a silly whistling sound, which made Shenna laugh. Gaius started laughing too and yeah, it broke a little of the atmosphere over on our side of the room.

Hey Gracie, if you are reading this, Gaius wasn't laughing at you all or anything kk? He was just laughing at the whistling sound and all, we love you very very much yeah? :D

It really broke my heart a lot when Aunty Aye Lan and Sarah thought that they did not do well as leaders and all, but sigh, i think they've done so well.

I hope they are doing alright now. Yep! :D I thank God that this happened and all, because i know that it's through this kinds of stuffies, that bring people closer, and more united. I thank God too, that Aunty Aye Lan permitted me to sit in the whole conversation and all. It really impacted me a lot on how serious things can get and all.

And no, it did not affect my mood or anything, so yay! You'll still see me studying like mad. Hee.

We went studio to wait for Shenna to finish dancing and all, and then we went to starbucks for a chat. Our conversation ended up with things we do when we are half asleep, and nightwalks etc. Great time spent with you all.

Loves!!

*Wawnie covers her ears as her mom begins the long chains of nagging*

Shopping pt 2

And as you could have guessed, we went shopping again today. Hee. Had to go for tuition first though, lest my tuition teacher makes a big fuss again.

Oh well, so met Char, Jarrold and Shenna in church at around 5 plus. Ben L couldn't make it sadly as he had to help Pastor Mark build some coffin thing. (It's obviously a fake one, no one died. Please.)

We went Far East first, and then tried Fried Mars and taiwan yummy fried chicken. Superb la! But had to imagine the amount of calories i had put on just for that moment. Hee. Anyways, we then met Sarah at Wisma and started shopping around again. Poor char char didnt buy anything. :( I bought two more tops though. Argh, it's my fault! It's my fault that you didnt buy!

*Wawnie waves her arms to look dramatic, although much of her efforts were gone down the drain*

And it was only today, where i found out that my love reaches out to beanie hats. I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH! (Hint hint) I took a photo of it, but will post it up another day. Its on my friendster thingamagic though. Hee.

Sigh, tomorrow would be our last day in school, only fragments of the old times would linger. Sad, sad.

Have to shoo off now, i can hear the threatening footsteps of my mom. eek.

*Wawnie hurriedly shuts the computer and pretends to sleep, forgetting that she has not brushed her teeth*

tiff.

I just found my old blog, missed it sooo much. (In case you didn't know, i'm a nostalgic person) I've linked it here! Yay! (Press the 3rd arrow)

Today, had a serious tiff with my mom, and my tuition teacher. Oh well, i was in the wrong, and yes, there were some misunderstandings. But you will never know how much grudges older people would bear, and how annoying that can be.

Who are you to judge me?
Who are you to take control?
You barely even spend time with us,
what more me?
Money isn't all I want.
Can't you even have a simple lunch
with us?
Just because you work,
doesn't mean you should have the priority of all.
I can work too!

Even though you're older,
bear in mind that i'm smarter.
Look at yourself in the mirror,
before you try to find my faults.

And, quite obviously, this was how i felt just now.

I hate all these.

Thank God He spoke to me when i was taking a shower. He really reminded me that i should not let satan have a foothold in my life, especially in this area, and during this period of time. So as an obedient child of God, i decided to apologise to my tuition teacher. Oh well, it's really up to God now on what He's going to do with that apology.

I'm really hoping that after my visit to slumberland, everything would be the same again, and i could still have my great day ahead of me. Argh.

I am a strong believer of platonic friendships.
So yes, please stop.

I do wonder, if the person i'm refering to knows who he/she is.

Ack this is not me again, i have to stop being so direct.

O Lord, i pray that tomorrow would be great, where all grudges would be gone, and where your joy would really brighten up my day. Protect me, and us, with your blood, from the devil's traps. Teach me, and guide me, according to your will and purposes. Thank you Lord, for i know you are so awesome.
```````````In Jesus's name i pray,
Amen.

Shopping

Whee! I love shopping so so much! Char, Jarrold, Ben L and i went town today for a lovely therapy for releasing stress: shopping.

I bought a skirt from topshop and a top from forever21. Char got a top from billabong (you look cute in it!), and Ben and Jarrold got their shirts from the Peninsula place thingy (as usual). It only took Ben less than half an hour to spend 60 bucks, he's the super shopper. Char and i are not really contented with what we bought today, haha, suppose that we expected more from our 7 hour shopping trip. Hee. And guess what? Thurs we're going to shop again and again! Woo hoo!! Sarah would be joining us too, muahaha. I'm just so excited, i can just jump into the sky and grab hold of the moon. (Why the moon? hmm..)

Anyways, we discussed about how depression was taking over people in church slowly, and how disturbed we were. And i found it rather strange, on how fast the 'disease' would spread. Eek, it's a pandemic! (Oh shut up you negative thoughts.) Don't worry! We have God on our side, i'm having the faith that ALL these would go away! Shoo you evil depressive things, away from us!! In the name of Jesus!!

I have the power..
(sing this in that special tune from, erm, some movie. Pardon me for forgetting it's title)

Personally, i wouldn't dare to become too depressed or emotional, i don't want to give up on the good plans that God has for me, and i do not want to give up on the levels that i took to be closer to God. And yes, this is a really great catalyst towards my growth in God.

Oh thank you Lord..

Thoughts:

Is it you? Or is it just me?
Monster, you? Or am i the monster?
Fear takes over, and yet it dissipates.
Confidence, and yet there's doubt.
I wonder, i really do.

Oh how i wish that platonic friendships really do exist.
And how i wish that they, or maybe, that person would know

how much i treasure just a normal and yet lasting friendship.
If only they would understand.

Why?
If only..
I wish..

Couldn't you have been a girl instead?


Haha. I hope it's understood, and yet not understood. (don't mind me for my 'indirect'ness) This is not,like what they call it, 'emo'ing, but just a view on what i really feel at this point of time. I'm not feeling depressed, sad, or whatever you may think, but i'm just frustrated, at the things that i would lose.

Hmm, hold on.
I do feel the sense of joy within me though, regardless of whether what took place recently, i still feel normal and bouncy. Oh well, maybe i'm just weird. Hee. So mind you, for there's the psychotic me here. Whaha.

*Wawnie bounces away on her fat butt*

i hate fats.

i've grown fatter!! Sniff. super upset about it. Stupid fats!! Get away!!
And mom refuses to let me do anything about it.

Argh.

This is dumb!

Ack pt 2

Eek! Just got bitten by a bug, bleh.

What a way to start my time of blogging, sigh.

Today, hmm..

I really need God to put that gift of faith within me.
Patience. Long waiting. hmm?

Ack this is not me!

Oh well, being indirect in how i feel is good! Yay! It matches up to what the english teachers always say: show and not tell. Hee. Such brilliance. (Head has grown to the size of a football field)
Char and i are going for a shopping spree on tues! MUAHAHAHA. (evil grin and laugh). After what seemed like a million years, argh! What is the word for 'extreme excitement' again?

I can feel the adrenaline rush, woohoo! My therapy sessions are starting soon in just 2 days!!
Okay, enough excitement, back to my 'emo'ing. (i think..)

It's bad to feel emotional, and sometimes i wonder if people feel that way just to attract attention? Am i one of them? (nah..) I hate emotional stuffs. I hate them. I can't succumb myself to this minute versions of depressions, they are not worth it.

haha! I don't know how to stay 'emo' for long, so yay, happiness, here i come again!
*Wawnie races to the piece of paper, which says 'happiness' in Chinese, and hugs it really tight. The paper inevitably gets squashed, with some of its sides torn*

Yep, i'm holding on to God's promises for me. All i need now is just a dash of faith, and a pinch of patience, and everything would go well! Yay! Doctor dawnie has found the cure to her sickness!

Patience. Trust? i wonder, i really do.

*Wawnie saunters off*

Ack

Today. Hmmm. Came to church for CE exceptionally early! Yay! 8.45! Woohoo! My first ever time of being early. (oops)

Haha. I've just memorised the terms for the treaty of versailles and how it affected the Germans. Feeling rather, hmm, (don't know how to explain), weird.

Eek.

Going to run home now! (i'm church in case you don't know, hee)

*Wawnie picks up her bag, but everything scatters on the floor*

Yay!

Haha! (said with the first ha in a lower tone than the 2nd ha)

God spoke to me about waiting. Woot! I feel more assured now. Hee.

Today was great, although the news about ..... was quite intimidating. Sigh. We had a power-packed one and a half hour prayer and yes, there was really a breakthrough! (So proud of all of us! Yay!) Like we didn't care who was around and stuff, but we prayed wholeheartedly that the walls of the building could have collasped. (Is that a weird figured speech?) Haha. I loved it sooooo much! It was super exciting, and God was just so amazing! No words can really describe that special moment, seriously, God is just SO real!

Yep, there's really that huge turning point in all of our spiritual lives, and God has really planned it all! Wow!

*Wawnie hops around the house to display her enthuasiasm towards the prayer that took place just now and sits back down on the computer seat to continue blogging*

Oh yes, Char scolded me for being sick in the brain. Sniff sniff. It wasn't sick, it was just... erm.. less conservative? Haha. Ok ok, it IS sick, but it's funny! Yay! (I think..)

Si hua and Kenny came to church today, hurrays! And i pray that God will speak to them just like how He did to me.

God kept leading me to the chapter in Job, but i'm still waiting for His answer on what He really wants to tell me about. *tilts head to display confusion*

During service, Hosea preached something about modern society's view about love, and he referred to the ah lians and ah bengs. And as usual, (sigh) Char would scream out my name. I was totally humiliated, argh. I AM NOT AN AH LIAN. I'm more high class loh! Hee. My face was forcefully covered by my reluctant hands which were controlled by my brains. Hmm, maybe it was controlled by my spinal cord instead; a reflex action! The sensory neurones from my ears (which picked up the sound 'ah lian') transmitted the waves to my spinal cord, where in the spinal cord, the relay neurone carries the signals to the motor neurones. The motor neurones then transmit the signals to the muscles, causing my hands to cover my face. Haha! (Said again with that special tone) I'm smart, I'm smart. (Please forgive my egoistic way of motivation towards studying).

Anyways, Alvin has left for camp today, sniff sniff, and tmr Michelle will be teaching CE. Yay! (not that i prefer anyone la) Have to visit slumberland soon, or else it wouldnt release me from its dungeon gates. Eek!

Better hop off soon. Merry Christmas! (??)

*Wawnie falls asleep on the computer seat and drops on the floor due to very little center of gravity. hmm.*

School Memories

Wahaha. I have decided to, what you call it, 'pon' school!
Sigh.
I think i'll miss secondary school life, and all its ups and downs.

Yes, i think most of the time i walk alone and all, God is still by my side. And even when people think i'm feeling lonely and all, i know that the Holy Spirit is always talking to me.

Oh well, today Chuan Rui and i agreed to not go school together. And, how silly of us to only wake up at around 10 to study. Half the morning lost in slumberland. Haha. Went to have my hair trimmed, and the lady made my fringe a little too short. Eek! Now it's more irritating, it never fails to cover my eye. Argh. Chuan Rui told me that Mr Chang found out about us skipping school, haha, and i wasn't suprised. Hee.

It was only then, when i realised what memories were.

Chuan Rui is probably busy mugging right now, argh, why so hardworking! And i've only managed to complete the Coral Secondary School E math prelim paper. Eek. Have to put in more effort, exams are only 1 month away. Argh!!!! Stress!!! *faints*

Ok, sorry for my dramatic actions. Hmm.

I wonder why its so easy to see someone's motives just by knowing them. Their speech, yes, irks me much, and their actions, indescribable.

I need patience. Oh God, am i a hypocrite? Or are they the ones? Sometimes, acting so holy, and yet their actions do not prove it. Am i just being judgemental? Or am i just being one-sided. O Lord, help me, give me your patience, give me your compassion, open my eyes.

Whatever it is, school's really going to end soon, and yes, freedom. Sigh. But those memories? I can't run from them, neither can i hide. It's stupid, how much i want to escape from reality, and yet come back to it again. What is wrong?

Today, i recieved some mail about the group SLAYER who are performing at Maxtheatre on the 13th October. And mind you, it's a satanic band. Strictly advised not to watch.
Disclaimers: You'll be in the realm of Satan.

So yes, it's really dangerous, seriously, even for my friends out there who are 'anti-christ', please, do not watch it.

Jesus loves me this i know,
for the bible tells me so,
little ones to him belong,
they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
For the bible tells me so.

Hee. Meaningful.

Shall run back to do more work, i'm in church by the way. Haha.

*Wawnie crawls out of the office as silently as she could. But she knocks into the printer down by accident.*

Abstract stuffies

Everyone's engulfed by the rage of the book monster.

Argh.

The 16th of October seems to be coming at a speed of -10 m/s.

Dad got really angry with me today because of the graduation video we had to do at the last minute. He wouldn't talk to me (probably cause i was keeping my mouth shut the entire time)

Chuan Rui suddenly changed his mind and is unsure of whether to go to Meridian again. (I'll slap his face soon).

Only 2 more weeks to go, and there'll be some sort of freedom.

I'm being too vague.
And abstract?
Hmm. That's the point, you see.

I need some rest now, but I still have to cram in the whole chunk of Chap 5- Sustaining good governance in Singapore. Argh. Why didn't anyone tell me earlier that there was a test? Oh yes, they forgot.

I don't know if i actually mean what i say, and that really makes me ponder about the bizarre things running through the empty thing right above my eyes. I wonder what it's called.. (Oh! It's the brain. What is it again?)

Weird invisible hammers are knocking part of my forehead now, giving me slight aches around the upper part of my face. (As you know, the brain..) I need panadol, or maybe just some sleep.

Argh.

Hang in there!

i'll try.

I need to watch what i say more often, they haven really been glorifying God. Neither does my horrid growing temper. It's as if, I'm not me anymore. 0_0 (creeped out)

[Psalms 6] <-- Read this today.

hmm?

Bits and pieces of the once red capsule. It wasn't so messy, after all it was already empty. Everyone knew that one day, she would break. What would they expect from something so fragile? Putting the capsule together, they knew, that nothing would hold it together. (Tape would work, for an hour or so before everything comes off again)
The capsule, ever so empty, ever so fragile, watched red liquid ooze out from the piece which made her top. She winced in agony, and wondered what that was.

*Wawnie wonders as well*